Blog post 2: Interpersonal Conflict

Perhaps the most brain-scarring interpersonal conflict that I've ever encountered thus far was the time I was caught in the middle of an argument between my best friend and my girlfriend ( this is not a hypothetical situation by the way ). Ever had the feeling of getting stuck in between two people with ginormous bellies in a crowded train? Yup, that was exactly what I felt. The emotions I had initially were of utter embarrassment. However, they soon morphed into emotions of anger. And so the story goes...

There I was in my room studying with my girlfriend. The next thing I know, the door slams open. “What did u tell XYZ about me?? Why the hell did you bad-mouth me for??” A quick exchange of aggressive words immediately followed. I wish I could type out the whole conversation that took place between the both of them - I can remember it in its entirety, word for word. However, given the taboo content of the conversation, I shall not risk my expulsion or Brad’s from the school. Essentially the argument was of one of denial by my girlfriend and one of accusation by my friend (let's call him Peter). I was just about to leave my room when Peter shouted, “Are you going to believe her or me!” The last thing I'd wanted was for someone to ask me that question. I glanced over at my girlfriend and that was when I saw the its-him-or-me look on her face. I was an innocent bystander in this conflict and now, because of the question that was shot at me, I found myself right smack in the middle of the conflict. It took me a good ten seconds to formulate a reply. As short as ten seconds may be, both of them were actually screaming at me during this period of time. I got angry, and yet I knew that I had to say something that would not result in me losing the both of them. I was actually thinking rationally at that point in time - wow. I shall save the remainder of the story for my next post since I’m soon reaching the 350 word limit. Meanwhile, I really would want to know how each of you would have reacted if you were in my shoes. Do drop me your comments yeah? :)

Here’s what happened next. While they were still screaming at each other, I stood up from my chair and shouted “shuuuuut uuuup!!“ this was probably the longest, loudest ‘shut up” I’ve ever or will ever produce. Absolute silence followed. I then proceeded to comment on how childish I felt the both of them were being. i did not take sides of course. It was probably a misunderstanding that both of them failed to see amidst all that squabbling. i ended off my 'lecture' by telling them that no one would ever enjoy being caught in the middle of an argument. especially when it involves the two closest people that you have around you. " Put yourself in my shoes, if you were me what would you have done? you'll obviously not take sides right? " I said. Peter stood outside the door, glaring into space and then he left. I spend the rest of the night consoling my girlfriend who had been in tears since the confrontation started.

Blog post 1: Effective Communication

-No man is an island- . This statement is rather apt with regards to this module. We as transient, emotional beings cannot survive alone. We tend to have a level of dependency, high or low levels not withstanding. This brings in the concept of communication. Effective communication depends not only on speaking but listening as well. “To be understood and to understand” this was something that my dad used to tell me during my teenage years and it has been etched into the vials of my brain ever since and this to a certain extent has shaped the methods and ways in which I communicate with the people around me.

Thus with the knowledge of how important the process of communication means to me, there are several ways in which I go about developing my communication skills to overcome mainly physiological, emotional and the mental barriers that plague my everyday life in one way or another. Physiological barriers come in the form of people with hearing difficulties especially the elderly, take my grandfather for example. Whenever I speak to him, I feel as if I am shouting across the room when in fact I’m so close to him that I can actually know what he just ate when he burps. It was uncomfortable at first, but I began putting myself in his shoes and figured that I would want to be heard and hear what other people have to say when I am that old ( assuming that I live another 67 years or so ). Emotional and mental barriers come into play whenever I am deep in thoughts or whenever I am thinking about a problem that makes me “zone out” and hence I become completely oblivious to people talking to me ( I’m still working on that problem by the way). I tend to offend people when that happens and obviously I would want to stop that! Thus, development of such communication skills are of prime importance to me.