blog post 4: understanding intercultural differences

There are some incidents in life that you wish you could undo. Unless you can travel faster than the speed of light, it is virtually impossible. I was 15 then, you could say that I was childish, immature, well I was only FIFTEEN, how much of an EQ can you expect a 15 year old to have? Or rather how much of an understanding of intercultural differences can you expect a 15 year old to have? Again the incident that I am going to narrate did happen.

There was this Singh in my class who goes by the name of Rajiv. He always had this massive turban on his head. (The Singh population in Singapore is predominantly Sikh) Needless to say, he was literally the entertainment icon of the class, not by his own will of course. In fact he hated it. I was often behind the cruel and insensitive jokes that were made of him, in front of him. From nicknames like the “turbanator” to jokes about how bad his body odor was. My class even had cash bets to see who could predict the color of his turban for the next academic day and I was the bookie! Rajiv didn’t seem to react much to the jokes that we make about him apart from the occasional “will you guys just shut up” thus none of us really bothered to find out that it is actually a culture of the male Singhs to not cut their hair and hence the only way they could keep it neat is to tie them up in a turban. Rajiv did not turn up on the first day of school after the mid-term holidays. At first everyone thought that he was sick, however he did not turn up for school the following day and the next. He did not turn up for school for a whole week. We were in for a shocking revelation. The principal of my school paid a visit to his home to check on his whereabouts and he came to realize that Rajiv had been missing school intentionally. Apparently, according to his mum, Rajiv came home crying every day after school, he would then hide in his room and only come whenever he needs to bathe. He would also take several showers a day and whenever he came out of the shower, his skin was often red and sore, sometimes bleeding. At first she ( Rajiv’s mum) thought that he was just having a allergic reaction to something he ate in school however she soon realized that he was actually bleeding because he was washing himself with chlorine to get rid of his body odor. Chlorine is a mildly corrosive liquid used to wash toilets. When she and her husband knew what was happening, they immediately pulled him out of school and enrolled him for counseling sessions. They later found out he was in this state because of the insensitive jokes that were made of him in class over a long period of time.

When I heard this, I was overwhelmed with remorse. Why was I so insensitive in the first place? Why did I not appreciate the cultural differences between me and him? All this while, I had been ruining someone’s life without knowing it. Sometimes I wish that by some stroke of luck I could meet him again and tell him how sorry I was for everything that I did.

Blog post 3: Research Topic

Description of Issue
The average male uses 7 to 10 cosmetic products a day whereas the average female uses close to twice that amount. From moisturizers that leave your skin soft and supple to eye drops that keep your eyes feeling fresh, 80% of cosmetic products in the world today have been tested on animals prior to their marketing. Whenever it comes to purchasing cosmetic products, I believe that most people will not consider animal testing as a criteria that will deter them from buying the product. Many household and cosmetic products companies still pump their products into the stomachs of animals, rub them onto their skin and squirt their products into their eyes. It is estimated that 50 to 100 million vertebrae animals are used annually for animal testing. Some companies proclaim that animal testing is integral in the development of products that are safe for humans whilst animal rights activists argue that animals and humans differ significantly in biology thus making animals testing dangerous and redundant. Whatever the situation may be, the torture and pain that these animals go through cannot go unnoticed.

Research question
To what degree are students even aware of the ramifications of such testing?

Purpose statement
The aim of this research project is to educate students of the science faculty on animal testing, the plight that these animals go through whenever it comes to developing new products. Another aim of this project is to educate the students on other forms of product testing other than animal testing and hopefully they will be more aware of this when it comes to the purchasing of a cosmetic product.

Reasons for attitudinal survey
It is of great importance that we carry out a survey to find out how much the students of the faculty of science know about animal testing, what is their stand on the issue as well as what must be done in order to convince them to give up completely on cosmetics products that have been tested on animals.

Blog post 2: Interpersonal Conflict

Perhaps the most brain-scarring interpersonal conflict that I've ever encountered thus far was the time I was caught in the middle of an argument between my best friend and my girlfriend ( this is not a hypothetical situation by the way ). Ever had the feeling of getting stuck in between two people with ginormous bellies in a crowded train? Yup, that was exactly what I felt. The emotions I had initially were of utter embarrassment. However, they soon morphed into emotions of anger. And so the story goes...

There I was in my room studying with my girlfriend. The next thing I know, the door slams open. “What did u tell XYZ about me?? Why the hell did you bad-mouth me for??” A quick exchange of aggressive words immediately followed. I wish I could type out the whole conversation that took place between the both of them - I can remember it in its entirety, word for word. However, given the taboo content of the conversation, I shall not risk my expulsion or Brad’s from the school. Essentially the argument was of one of denial by my girlfriend and one of accusation by my friend (let's call him Peter). I was just about to leave my room when Peter shouted, “Are you going to believe her or me!” The last thing I'd wanted was for someone to ask me that question. I glanced over at my girlfriend and that was when I saw the its-him-or-me look on her face. I was an innocent bystander in this conflict and now, because of the question that was shot at me, I found myself right smack in the middle of the conflict. It took me a good ten seconds to formulate a reply. As short as ten seconds may be, both of them were actually screaming at me during this period of time. I got angry, and yet I knew that I had to say something that would not result in me losing the both of them. I was actually thinking rationally at that point in time - wow. I shall save the remainder of the story for my next post since I’m soon reaching the 350 word limit. Meanwhile, I really would want to know how each of you would have reacted if you were in my shoes. Do drop me your comments yeah? :)

Here’s what happened next. While they were still screaming at each other, I stood up from my chair and shouted “shuuuuut uuuup!!“ this was probably the longest, loudest ‘shut up” I’ve ever or will ever produce. Absolute silence followed. I then proceeded to comment on how childish I felt the both of them were being. i did not take sides of course. It was probably a misunderstanding that both of them failed to see amidst all that squabbling. i ended off my 'lecture' by telling them that no one would ever enjoy being caught in the middle of an argument. especially when it involves the two closest people that you have around you. " Put yourself in my shoes, if you were me what would you have done? you'll obviously not take sides right? " I said. Peter stood outside the door, glaring into space and then he left. I spend the rest of the night consoling my girlfriend who had been in tears since the confrontation started.

Blog post 1: Effective Communication

-No man is an island- . This statement is rather apt with regards to this module. We as transient, emotional beings cannot survive alone. We tend to have a level of dependency, high or low levels not withstanding. This brings in the concept of communication. Effective communication depends not only on speaking but listening as well. “To be understood and to understand” this was something that my dad used to tell me during my teenage years and it has been etched into the vials of my brain ever since and this to a certain extent has shaped the methods and ways in which I communicate with the people around me.

Thus with the knowledge of how important the process of communication means to me, there are several ways in which I go about developing my communication skills to overcome mainly physiological, emotional and the mental barriers that plague my everyday life in one way or another. Physiological barriers come in the form of people with hearing difficulties especially the elderly, take my grandfather for example. Whenever I speak to him, I feel as if I am shouting across the room when in fact I’m so close to him that I can actually know what he just ate when he burps. It was uncomfortable at first, but I began putting myself in his shoes and figured that I would want to be heard and hear what other people have to say when I am that old ( assuming that I live another 67 years or so ). Emotional and mental barriers come into play whenever I am deep in thoughts or whenever I am thinking about a problem that makes me “zone out” and hence I become completely oblivious to people talking to me ( I’m still working on that problem by the way). I tend to offend people when that happens and obviously I would want to stop that! Thus, development of such communication skills are of prime importance to me.